"When you relax deeply and rest in what you are, that is the very best medicine for healing." Tsoknyi Rinpoche
What Does It Mean to Truly Rest?
When we think of rest, it's common to imagine cozying up in bed, lounging by a refreshing lake, enjoying a spa day, or getting a gentle massage. These activities represent our modern interpretation of relaxation—a way to recover from the demands of daily life. However, in meditation practices, rest takes on a much deeper, more expansive meaning. Beyond simply relaxing the body and mind, rest in meditation refers to an absence of defensiveness—a state where the mind is free from habitual reactivity and grasping. For those with a trauma history, especially women, understanding and redefining rest can be a transformative part of the healing journey.
This blog post explores the idea of rest from a meditation perspective. By redefining this core concept, we can release the stress surrounding the need for things to be perfectly comfortable. When we incorrectly equate rest in meditation with relaxation—and relaxation feels distant, which is often the case for trauma survivors—it's easy to become disillusioned. This misunderstanding blocks us from the profound benefits that a new understanding of rest can offer.
Physiological Relaxation: The Foundation of Rest
It's no secret that adequate rest is essential for health and well-being. When we allow ourselves to rest, we activate the parasympathetic nervous system, often referred to as the "rest and digest" system. This process helps us move out of the stress-induced "fight or flight" mode. However, when we try to force rest, we often achieve the opposite result. Think about a time when you needed to sleep but couldn't, perhaps the night before an important event. For most people, trying to force sleep only leads to frustration. The same is true for rest. When our system is stuck in fight-or-flight mode and we attempt to force relaxation, we usually end up adding more stress.
While it’s crucial to transition out of fight-or-flight mode when it’s no longer necessary, it’s important to remember that this response is not inherently negative. When we face immediate danger, fight-or-flight can be life-saving. The problem arises when our bodies can't distinguish between real and perceived threats or remain stuck in this mode long after the danger has passed. This chronic activation can lead to stress, anxiety, burnout, and hypervigilance—a state in which the body remains on high alert, even during ordinary situations. For trauma survivors, this heightened state of alertness often becomes their default mode, leading to what Buddhist psychology calls "unnecessary suffering."
Physiological relaxation is essential for down-regulating the nervous system, but it can feel unattainable for trauma survivors. Techniques like body scanning, yoga nidra, and guided relaxation can help release tension and reduce cortisol levels, but without proper guidance, these practices may cause more stress rather than less. This is why it’s crucial to redefine rest—not as relaxation, but as something different. This shift allows practices like these, which can serve as precursors to meditation, to become more accessible. Redefining rest establishes a new baseline for physiological relaxation, breaking the cycle of an over-activated stress response.
Thich Nhat Hanh, the renowned Vietnamese Zen master, often emphasized that rest is a necessary precursor to meditation. He taught that rest allows the body and mind to settle, creating the conditions for deeper mindfulness. Scientifically, when someone is in survival mode—constantly triggered by stress or trauma—their ability to learn, reflect, and meditate is severely compromised. The brain’s prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for decision-making and emotional regulation, becomes less active when the amygdala (the brain's alarm center) is on high alert. This is why rest is so crucial; it calms the nervous system and creates the foundation for deeper meditation and inner work. But the question remains: how can we redefine rest to make it more accessible?
Rest Beyond Relaxation: An Absence of Defensiveness
Understanding rest begins with shifting our view. Rest in meditation goes beyond simply calming the body or achieving a state of relaxation. It refers to a profound state of openness and receptivity—where the mind is free from defending, ignoring, suppressing, or indulging in any and all experiences. Rest is not just about physical relaxation but involves cultivating a state of being that is free from habitual patterns of defensiveness and avoidance.
True rest occurs when we let go of resistance and allow things to be as they are. In this state, we are no longer trying to control our experiences or push away discomfort. Instead, we meet everything with an open and accepting mind. This deeper rest involves cultivating a sense of ease with our experiences, letting go of the need to manipulate or change our thoughts and emotions. As Mingyur Rinpoche suggests, meditation isn’t about changing our thoughts or controlling our emotions; it's about becoming aware of them. This awareness, without attachment, creates a space for rest that goes beyond physical relaxation, opening a gateway to wisdom and insight.
Redefining Rest for Women with Trauma Histories
For trauma survivors, the mind often becomes trapped in patterns of hypervigilance and defensiveness. When we become aware of these tendencies, it’s easy to fall into self-judgment and criticism—additional habitual responses. Meditation invites us to rest in a space that is free from these conditioned reactions. This type of rest allows the nervous system to heal, offering a sense of safety and stability that isn’t dependent on external conditions.
However, rest can feel elusive or even threatening for those with a trauma history. The mind may struggle to trust a state of rest or let go of defensive postures. If this is the case for you, here are a few considerations to help redefine rest:
❤️Safety as a Foundation: True rest can only be achieved when there is a foundation of safety. Create an environment—whether it’s a physical space, a supportive community, or a trusted meditation guide—where you feel secure enough to let down your defenses.
❤️Mindful Self-Compassion Practices: Practices like self-compassion help trauma survivors hold their experiences with kindness rather than judgment. Over time, this can soften defenses and open the door to deeper rest. [Feel free to use this practice as support]
❤️Gentle Approaches to Meditation: Intense meditation practices may overwhelm trauma survivors. Start with gentle, trauma-informed practices that focus on grounding. Once a sense of safety is established, you can explore deeper states of rest.
❤️Reframing Rest as Receptivity: Instead of viewing rest solely as relaxation, reframe it as a state of receptivity. Be open to whatever arises, without needing to react or defend against it. This kind of rest creates fertile ground for deep healing and transformation.
Practical Tips for Cultivating Rest Beyond Relaxation
Additinoally, particular practices repeated over time can help rewire the nervous system out of past habitual responding and into new, more adaptive responses. The following practices can be used as support for this process.
Set a Foundation of Physical Rest: Begin with practices that help relax the body, such as gentle yoga, yoga nidra, or progressive muscle relaxation. Establishing physical safety and calm is the first step. [Feel free to use this guided practice here.]
Practice Open Awareness Meditation: Engage in open awareness meditation, where the focus is not on controlling the breath or thoughts but simply resting in awareness of whatever arises. This practice encourages openness.
Integrate Restful Moments Throughout the Day: Rest doesn’t have to be confined to formal meditation sessions. Take brief moments to pause, breathe, and rest in awareness throughout your day. These micro-moments of rest can build a habit of non-defensiveness.
Rest as a Radical Act of Allowing
Redefining rest in the context of meditation involves moving beyond relaxation to embrace openness and non-defensiveness. For women with trauma histories, this shift—from constantly guarding against perceived threats to resting deeply in the present moment—can be profoundly healing. This type of rest not only rejuvenates the body and mind but nourishes the soul, creating space for genuine healing and transformation.
For more resources and support on trauma-informed meditation practices, visit Mindful Island.
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