Be a Fly on the Wall

Who can relate?

I’m mindlessly scrolling through Instagram the other day and find myself narrating my experience out loud. I am casually giving a play by play of what everyone is doing on the “gram”. I hear myself doing this and think that I sound like a sportscaster giving the play by play of a football game. The only problem is, I don’t sound like an actual sportscaster, I sound like a sarcastic comedy skit of a sportscaster from a Saturday Night Live Episode.

To put it more bluntly; I sound like a jerk.

Maybe you can relate. It doesn’t have to be that you also give sarcastic play by plays of social media posts to your friends and family. It could be that you retell the story of a work meeting to your best friend in a sort of flippant tone. Or maybe you share a story with your partner that a friend told you about their life, but you tell it with an edge in your voice of skepticism and sarcasm.

I don’t think I am wrong in believing, if this happens to me, it happens to most people.

So, what is this thing that happens to us; us perfectly loving and good people, acting like jerks? It wasn’t that I didn’t like the people I was play by playing about. It wasn’t that I was in a bad mood. If you had asked me how I felt, or how I was doing, I would have said ‘wonderful, great, perfect’, or something of the sort. The loudest me, the most surface me, she was all good. And yet still, some part of me was acting in this childish and selfish way.